C.S. Lewis Song - Brooke Fraser

If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I’ll feel nude when to where I’m destined I’m compared

Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me

Am I lost or just found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
Is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
‘Cause my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become

For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know You
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He’s coming

Hat tip to Alive and Young.

Still no World Youth Day post, but I will be on TV tomorrow night talking about WYD. It’s local television, since it’s my bishop’s show, so I’m sorry that you all in the non-San Antonio viewing area won’t be able to watch. I’m pretty excited about being on this show again - last time I went with a couple of friends just to be in a Q&A audience, but I love hearing our bishop (Archbishop Jose H. Gomez, S.T.D.) speak!

I’m currently using my time getting ready to move into my new on-campus room. It’s my first time doing this, so we’ll see what happens when you put a 3rd-year-senior in a room with two sophomores in a freshman all-girls hall.

This past Saturday, I went with my boyfriend and his family on their traditional pilgrimage to the Basilica of Our Lady of San Juan Del Valle National Shrine in San Juan, Texas. I woke up at 6:30 AM, met Josh at our school at 8, drove to his brother’s house, and left at 9 with his brother and parents. We arrived at the shrine at 1 PM.

This shrine is special to the family because Josh’s dad grew up in the area,  “the valley” (what we Texans call the Guadalupe River Valley). Ever since Josh was a little kid, his family has made a pilgrimage to the shrine to pray for help and to give thanksgiving. This trip was mostly a thanksgiving trip, since Josh just got a wonderful, stable job since graduating with his bachelor’s, and is being reimbursed for grad school. His dad recently became a working man again, as well.

I was really thankful for the pilgrimage, because it was a chance to share a special time with Josh and his family. The shrine was beautiful, and included a wonderful “Miracle Room” where thankful pilgrims place their photos, baby shoes, graduation gowns, flowers — anything to symbolize the milagros for which they’re thankful. Josh’s mom pinned the program for his graduation ceremony to a bulletin board in the room.

Many things during our trip really struck me. In the Miracle Room, for instance, was a life-sized representation of a dead Christ lying on a mat. It was extremely moving for me — disturbing and beautiful — and reminded me that the Passion and Resurrection of the innocent and loving God-man, our brother and Lord, is what our faith is centered around. (It’s so easy for us to get caught up in everything else.) The statue made me even more thankful that Josh bought a crucifix for my new room at the shrine, so that I won’t forget that.

I was also moved by the faith of the pilgrims at the shrine. Some of them came without much but their prayers, and left objects of huge importance to them in the Miracle Room. I can tell that many of San Juan’s pilgrims are people of simple faith, and it made me double-check whatever spiritual ego I had left in me.

Before we left, we performed a ritual that reminded me of the pilgrims of Lourdes: washing our faces and hands in holy water from the shrine. At 3 o’clock, Josh and I prayed the Chaplet of Divine Mercy with other pilgrims, led by a deacon. The Chaplet was prayed in Spanish, since in the valley, English is almost a second language. The deacon then blessed our religious articles, and we headed back to the car.

We ended up driving farther south to a town called Santa Maria, where Josh’s dad is from. Many of his relatives are buried there in a small cemetery off the highway in the middle of some sugar cane fields. We off-roaded to get there, and brought some flowers to the grave of Josh’s uncle, who passed a few years ago.

While we were in the cemetery, Josh noticed that many, if not most, of the graves had been affected by the tropical storm that recently hit southern Texas (the aftermath of the hurricane). We began straightening flower pots, taking brush off of graves, and even lifting a few fallen headstones. It was a time for me to see how compassionate Josh is, and how respectful he is of others, even the dead. As we moved through the weeds, I felt like this was really a spiritual work of mercy — honoring the dead and their families.

That night, I presented to Josh the birthday cake that had taken the previous day to make: a white double-layered cake with strawberry filling and buttercream icing (his favorite) decorated like a Wii remote. He loved it!

Here are some nice little videos of people visiting San Juan:

So recently I was hit with the “sex appeal” bug, and have been really tempted to use that to appeal to my boyfriend more. Thankfully, I’ve gotten past the bug with a vaccination of some grace(!).  Josh has also assured me that he wants me to dress respectfully. So, with that, I give you some of my latest interesting finds:

*Jen* Magazine, “Modest Fashion for Young LDS (Latter-Day Saints aka Mormon) Women,” through which I discovered my new favorite magazine, ELIZA. From their website:

Eliza Magazine is created for women who want to be stylish, sexy, and engaged in the world while retaining high standards in dress, entertainment, and lifestyle. Eliza strives to bring you the best of fashion without any of the trash. We will not uncover the sexual secrets to make him want you, promote people who are glitz with no substance, or glorify lifestyles that we know do not bring happiness. We are dedicated to finding up-and-coming fashion lines, showcasing pieces that are worth the big price tags, and discover deals that are just as hip at your local low-end department stores−along with presenting articles on uplifting entertainment, current issues, creative ideas, and life in general.

“Modesty - A Guy’s View”

A nice video geared at 6th through 12th grade girls, but interesting nonetheless.

And of course, my friend Rebecca Christian posts modest fashion inspirations and news at modestia.

This post serves as a “look at this” until my World Youth Day post. I hope you’re all well!

Too much has happened since my last post for a quick update on everything, so I’ll have to put away some time later to do that. Until then, suffice to say that:

I am back from World Youth Day, and finally adjusted sleep- and food-wise to Texas.

I am getting ready to live on-campus at my school for the first time.

I am so proud of my boyfriend for getting a fantastic job with Southwest Research Institute as an engineer!

Back soon to tell more.