So I’m nearly 6 months away from the big 2-1. I plan on trying out a highly fruity alcoholic drink or perhaps some wine with an Italian meal.

But besides that, what is so “magical” about 21 (here in the United States)?

It’s got this aura around it– “21, the age of adulthood”. I’m starting to wonder how I’m going to have to change in order to become more comfortable with the idea of independence.

Of course, independence varies from person to person. Some people are raised in an environment where they had lots of responsibilities, and their transition into independence was smooth, natural. I, however, have not been forced to face much responsibility. My parents hardly gave me chores, I’ve never lived away from home, I bought my dad’s old car for cheap, they pay for my gas and insurance, and I’ve never had to get a job. While this is biting me in the butt now, I am grateful for my parents’ generosity. They have given me something that they were not fortunate enough to have–a certain quality and ease of life. Though I have earned my way through college without their financial help, they have allowed me to live at home, etc.

My parents didn’t get married until they were 24. I have some friends who have been engaged since their senior year of high school, or earlier, and have gotten married before 21. I’m fully confident in most of those marriages. It makes me wonder, how would my parents react if I came home at 21 with an engagement ring?

And how would they react if I told them I wanted to move out of the house? Or that I applied for a part-time job apart from school?

I have a strong feeling that they would try to talk me out of it.

That feeling has begun to start motivating me to be more confident, take more ownership of my life and future, and be a little more serious about searching for jobs. I do realize that living at home saves money. School is a lot easier when I don’t have other things to bother myself with. So, I continue to weigh the pro’s and con’s of so-called “independence”.

Girls my age struggle so much with self-confidence. I am certainly no exception. I struggle with decision-making, with self-image, with almost anything.

This summer, I have been taking on so many new experiences. It’s the first summer that I’ve actually swam all by myself, the first time I’ve gone out of town with a friend, the first time I’ve learned about some of my flaws and had to face them, and the first time I will travel out-of-state and overseas by myself.

Having confidence issues, I think, can really be conquered when you are left with no choice but to make decisions on your own. There are some things you have to know that you stand for — yourself, your morals, and the Lord — and you have to draw confidence from those convictions. When there are things you aren’t sure you know about yourself, you learn. But there are always going to be a few things you know about yourself, and that’s where you begin to find the confidence to defend those convictions.

I think every woman longs to know who she is, have a firm belief in that knowledge, and to make an impact on the world. It takes so much to put all of that into action. For me, the keys have been: a sound knowledge of the truth found in the Catholic Church, a community to belong to, friends who believe in me, my boyfriend - the one person who never fails to encourage and strengthen me, loving parents (despite their hesitation to see me grow up), a sister who is constant, my guardian angel, my Queen Mother and her spouse, my Father, my Savior, and their Spirit.

Being who you are requires humility, gentleness, and wisdom. (I’m still working on those.) It also requires the knowledge that people may get upset with you, become unsettled, etc., but you have to accept that. Conflict and change are things we all have to face, and when we are the ones who must instigate the change, we only have to trust the Lord to take care of the situation. If it’s His will, it’s always, 100% for the best.

Does anyone know anything more about the full-length version of this documentary?

My boyfriend can tell you that probably the characteristic of mine that he finds most frustrating is my tendency to over-analyze and worry too much. Today while examining my conscience, I acknowledged that I suffer from scrupulosity, though usually in a specific area of morality.

I share this here because I realize how easy it must be for anyone who is as analytical as me to also be scrupulous. I’ve recently discovered some portals to help online:

Thoughts That Will Not Go Away - an article by the priest who founded Scrupulous Anonymous
10 Commandments for the Scrupulous - an excellent aid for confession

A lesson I have learned from the Lord through my boyfriend:

Humility does not simply entail belittling oneself in comparison to others. It means opening oneself completely to the will of God.

Does anyone like the Passion of the Christ? How about the recent movie about St. Anthony of Padua? Fans of Penelope Cruz’s sister, Monica? Then you’re in luck…there’s a movie for you out there. It’s promoted by FoxFaith films, which pleasantly surprised me. I saw it today, and its interesting perspective is worth a movie rental. Many of the actors were in the Passion of the Christ.