i feel overdramatic, overanalytical, overtired

left out, boring

and confused.

I believe in one God:

The Father, The Almighty, Maker of Heaven and earth

And in Jesus Christ, His only Son our Lord, who was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended to the dead. On the third day, he rose again. He ascended into Heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit

The holy catholic church

The communion of saints

The forgiveness of sins

The resurrection of the body

And live everlasting.

Amen.

Why do we profess these things? Do we profess them because our family does? Do we profess them because we always have? Do we profess them because we hope they help us somehow in life? Do we even have a reason?
In other words, are we liars and hypocrites?

Or do we profess these things because we mean that we believe?

When we genuflect, do we genuflect out of habit, or to meet an expectation? Do we genuflect because a real person, the King of the Universe and our Savior, who has lived and died for us, GOD, is present in front of us –

the Body that was tortured and severed and beaten and gloriously made new

the Blood that spattered over wood and iron, flesh and sand and rock, that ran down the hands and feet, face, arms and lips of an innocent man, out of terrible wounds, that was shed in our stead by God Incarnate

the Soul of God Incarnate

the divinity of Jesus Christ

- do we genuflect out of love and humility because we believe that these beautiful gifts are really and truly present in front of us?

When we say the name of Jesus Christ, do we realize what power we are wielding?

When we say, “I believe,” do we truly mean it? That we mean that we live according to these beliefs? That “if we live, we live for the lord, and if we die, we die for the Lord”? (Rm. 14: 8 )

Do we, really?

If we do not live and die by the words which we profess to believe, then why profess them at all?

If we profess true love for Christ, then we must live by those words.

If we profess a desire to do His will, then we must patiently wait for Him to reveal it to us.

If we profess a desire to be with Christ, then we must treasure what time we spend with Him in the Holy Eucharist.

If we profess belief in the power of God, then we must attend to it during Holy Mass, when God the Holy Spirit
brings God the Son
to the people of God
according to the plan of God the Father,
in His Word and in the Eucharist.

Let us live by our profession, or otherwise die
forever.

Each tagged person must post 8 random facts or habits about themselves on their blog. At the end of the post, choose 8 people to be tagged and list their names.Don’t forget to leave a comment telling them that they are tagged and to read your blog. Have fun!

1. I drink water most of the time. On special occassions, I drink root beer.

2. One of my greatest downfalls is overanalyzing the future.

3. Dance lessons: every week for 10.5 years of my life.

4. I have travelled outside of Texas ONCE, to New Mexico when I was too young to remember it now.

5. Country western music was absolutely forbidden from entering my years until about two years ago when I realized how great some of it is.

6. I prefer hot tea over cold.

7. Same goes for showers.

8. Stevie Nicks’ “Edge of Seventeen” is my solo dance-to-be-happy song.

I don’t think there are even eight people who read this blog, but if you read this, consider yourself tagged!

Dear Daddy,

This is an intimate letter of thanksgiving. It’s been a while since I’ve stopped to talk with You apart from Holy Mass. A lot has been happening.

I’ve embarked on a new adventure in my life, taken a jump and hoped there was a net underneath me. Josh has been teaching me a lot about You.

After the Ordination, Daddy, when I went to adore Your Son with our new Father Moses and with Matt, I looked at the little door and contemplated where I’ve come in the last few days. It dawned on me there that I would never have guessed three months ago that I’d be there, in San Fernando Cathedral, with a future postulant and a newly-ordained priest kneeling beside me, and a boyfriend across town at the Basillica.

I reflected on my past: all the hurt I’ve experienced in relationships, all the hesitation I’ve felt about being close to anyone like that again, my discerning religious life…and came to realize that I didn’t know how to trust You.

I’ve always had to know: What is my future? How do I plan it? Where do I begin? My journalistic mind wants all the details in a short amount of time. I would say, “Yes, Lord, I trust You,” but I would require all the answers.

The Daughters of St. Paul recently closed their bookstore here in town. (They’ve been having trouble keeping business.) I haven’t spoken with them, since many of them left the convent for other locations. When I heard that they’d closed, I was still thinking about religious life. At the same time, I began to feel the need to balance my options. I’d been spending more time with a community of consecrated laywomen, and their life seemed very attractive.

That’s when I decided to start chilling out. Was I certain that You were calling me to religious life? No. Could I honestly ask myself whether or not I’d given the other states of life adequate reflection? Well, no. I couldn’t. I resolved to stay open to the possibility of any vocation, even marriage, which I considered the least probable for my life.

Josh came into my life and all of a sudden I had to face what fears I didn’t know I had: Was I really open to God’s will? Was I purposely avoiding romance for fear of being hurt again? Why was Josh suddenly in my life? Where are you, God?

Looking straight at the Tabernacle door that Sunday, I whispered a prayer to You: Help me to truly trust in You, Jesus. I’ve been wanting to plan out my life for the past year, and I’ve not trusted You enough. Help me to hear Your voice and respond, o God.

Josh has taught me what it means to trust You. Trust doesn’t just mean, “Yeah, God’ll take care of it.” It means allowing God to work through us. It means abiding by the words of Christ: “Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself” (Mt. 6:34).

Dear Lord, how could I not trust You with tomorrow when I cannot trust myself with today? Help me to be open to Your voice, to be open to change, to be open to the epiphanies and revelations and awe-inspiring moments of which a life with You should be full.

Dear Jesus, before I loved Josh, my relationship with You was struggling so much. I have never experienced as I am now how a young man can lift me up and direct me to You. My care for Josh has brought me to my knees every day, praying for our hearts’ conversion to You.

O God, I pray for the grace to serve You through this relationship. To continue being truly honest, truly loving, truly forgiving, truly sacrificing, truly understanding, truly trusting. The day I knew I loved him was the day we said the prayer of consecration to Your Sacred Heart kneeling side by side. Jesus, every day, I yearn to live up to this act of consecration. May we only give our best to each other, to You, and to others.

Thank You for this revolution in my life. Thank You for someone who puts me before himself. Thank You for someone who surprises me every day with his humility and gentleness. Thank You for someone in whom I find strength and encouragement. Thank You for someone who prays for me when I’m too busy or anxious to ask for prayer. Thank You, God, for bringing us together.

You know our innermost beings. I trust You; increase my trust. Amen.

I know I’ve been MIA for a while, but a lot has been going on.

1. Been producing/writing/shooting/editing a video for an iTunesU series on my University’s Ministry center
2. Been engaging in week-before-finals shenanigans (that means work)
3. Became Joshua’s girlfriend (that’s him below)
   
4. Been continuing to teach Catechism classes
5. Been trying to promote Catholic Rockers and Catholic Vocations Podcast
6. Been trying to maintain an Advent mentality
7. Been sleep-deprived

Coming soon:

1. Holy Day of Obligation!!!
2. Ordination of Brother Moses at San Fernando Cathedral!!
3. Teaching Catechism!
4. Last week of school!!
5. Seeing my family!
6. Relaxing/sleeping!
7. More prayer time!!