A Candid Reflection

Filed under: Uncategorized — Angela Santana at 10:43 pm on Wednesday, August 1, 2007

The Sisters asked me if I’ve dated before. I said yes, not wishing to give any further detail. Thankfully, there was no more inquiry on their part.

That’s because some people could have considered it “dating”. It was dating in the sense that I wanted to marry that young man. It wasn’t dating in the sense that our only one-on-one dates were hours-long walks around my neighborhood (and of course, senior prom).

My guy-girl past is a series of stories that I don’t openly like to speak about. However, I realize that it’s important when reflecting on my past in the light of vocation.

Short and sweet, my experiences with guys have taught me how to handle my body; almost every guy who has ever expressed an interest in me has taken advantage of my trusting nature. It took a few strong Catholic retreats (and years) for me to finally answer God’s call to forgive – myself and those males who were too immature to realize the emotional and psychological damage they’d caused in me. I have forgiven and forgotten. Forgotten, in this case, doesn’t mean that I’ve erased those events and relationships from my memory. Instead, it means I’ve moved past them and their emotional baggage.

I understand that any religious order I look into could ask me about my sexuality and my experience with the opposite sex. I’ve heard that it’s because, “It’s usually best to have had experience with dating before you take a religious vocation seriously.” On the one hand, I completely agree with this idea. A young woman probably shouldn’t rush into the religious life without giving serious thought to other possible vocations.

At the same time, I wonder how important that really is. What if I’d never dated before? Would that make me somehow unqualified to apply to a convent? Really, I’ve never had a formal boyfriend who comes and picks me up for a date and we do that for a while. Personally, I don’t think that’s such a big deal. I’m just a picky, gorgeous girl. So, what happens if I haven’t dated after I graduate and apply to a religious order? Is my lack of so-called “experience” going to cast a shadow on my application?

This is just an honest question. Because – at this point in my life, I’m comparing guys to Jesus. Let me tell you, it makes the decision whether to date someone or not extremely simple.

1 Comment »

74

Comment by Sr. Nicole

August 2, 2007 @ 8:07 am

Hi, Angela,
Thanks for your honest reflections! It’s been good for me to ask myself these very same questions…
One thing I’ve been reflecting on over the years is that I don’t think the choice is Jesus or a guy to marry. That choice, one is obvious, but two is also unfair to guys. For me the choice is how can I best grow in holiness — some people I truly believe grow in holiness by leaps and bounds through their marriage. So, I think that’s one thing to consider…
Perhaps the sisters who ask you about past relationships just want to make sure you’re not thinking that religious life is the only way towards holiness? I’m not sure that’s a healthy viewpoint…
Okay. I’m done. Thanks for your comment on my blog! I appreciate reading what you think about my sometimes goofy reflections!

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a comment

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

 
Powered by Get your free Catholic Blog at tBlogs Catholic Blogs